How to Train Your...Husband?!?

**Disclaimer: I have two very loving and sweet dogs.  Neither are exceptionally well trained.  I'm not sure why I think "training" a husband would go well for me. 

We're in the middle of a home remodel and it's all going fairly well.  If the painters had actually painted the trim it would be going wonderfully, but alas they didn't and need to be scheduled to come back BEFORE the furniture is bought in two and a half weeks...but AFTER the carpet is laid this weekend (which seems a little backwards to me).  That's a topic for another blog however...

...So, seeing as how we're remodeling a house most of the furniture has been moved, sold, donated, or tossed out.   Darrin (the hubs-to-be for those of you who don't know) is living out of boxes and what's left in his garage.  Through this process I noticed two things.  First, Darrin has a LOT of papers and we may want to invest in a shredder or a BIG filing cabinet.  Second, the carpet that we're replacing used to be a wonderful cream color.  How did I discover this?  Well, when we moved his furniture out of the way beautiful squares, rectangles, and circles of cream carpet were revealed.  I had honestly thought his carpet was more of a dull brown.  So what does this lead me to realize?  That while he is a wonderful and loving man, his cleaning skills leave a lot to be desired.

At first I thought, "Oh well, at least I like to clean!" But then a little saying popped into my head: "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime."  I used a little creative license and revised it to go a little like this: "Clean up after your hubby and have a day of happiness.  Teach your hubby how to clean and have a lifetime of martial bliss."  Okay, so most of you may not value a clean house as much as I do.  And that lifetime of marital bliss will happen even if the house isn't spotless - but hey, shiny floor couldn't hurt, right?!?

So I started looking online for "tips" on how to "train" your husband.  Let me tell you, there are a few very comical sites out there!  Some sites were just hookie and I think some were actually trying to teach you how to train your husband, which I found a little disturbing, because who wants to be trained by their spouse?!  Find me anyone, male or female, who is okay with being trained like a pet and I'll send you a cookie!

Here is what this little scavenger hunt did teach me though:

1. We're different people - and thank God for that!  We both have a different way of doing things and that's a good thing.  Those differences compliment each other and will make us a stronger couple.

2. Communication is key.  I can't expect Darrin to know how I want the bathroom to look if I didn't tell him.  I can't understand why he really doesn't care how the towels should be folded if I don't listen.  So talk and listen...I think I can handle that!

3. Rewards are good!  Now I'm not saying that I should (or ever would) treat him like my dogs who get a bone out of the treat jar when they sit or stay.  But I know Darrin and I know he's going to make an effort around the house (especially if we're successful at Step 2) and he needs to know it doesn't go unnoticed and it is appreciated.  I mean, who doesn't need positive affirmation?  Even as a marriage novice something tells me little things like that will go a long way.

So there they are...my 3 steps to train your hubby.  You've been told how successful (or rather unsuccessful) my dog training was so take them with a grain of salt!  But for me the question becomes...can I remember those three little things when I find my first pair of dirty socks on the floor???

Am I Crazy...Nope, Just an Overachiever!

t-minus 66 days to go!

Yes, that's right, in 66 days I go from Miss to Mrs.!   And as of right now I'm knee-deep in wedding planning.  You'd think it be easy, right?  That it would go a little something like this...

Girl meets Boy.  Girl likes Boy.  Girl falls in love with Boy.  Girl wonders (and at times nags) about when Boy will propose.  Boy proposes to Girl.  They get married and live happily every after.

Yeah, not so much...at least not after the part where Boy asks Girl to marry him!  Since that moment it's been dresses, and cakes, and flowers...oh my!  I mean, come on, does it really matter if it's a three-tiered all vanilla cake or a four-tiered chocolate and vanilla cake with raspberry filling?  Will anyone even KEEP the favors I've been obsessing over for weeks?  So we've gone from "Boy proposes to Girl" straight to "Girl starts planning a wedding to rival all weddings and drives herself crazy in the process."

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving every minute of it.  I know when the "I do's" have been said and the cake has been cut and my wonderful wedding coordinator has packed up her "Day-of Emergency Kit" I'll miss the excitement of planning for it.  But sometimes I wonder how much is too much?

So up until this point you're probably thinking, "Oh honey, you're not crazy.  You're just caught up in the excitement of it all."  And you'd be right, by the way.  The 'crazy' part comes in when you learn that in t-25 days I'm moving into "his" house.  And that for the past month we've been completely renovating that house.  And not just simple modifications like a new coat of paint...new floors, new cabinets, painting existing cabinets, new appliances, counter tops, electrical work...the list goes on and on!  We've done a lot of it ourselves (when you're also planning a wedding saving money becomes super important) but at some point threw our hands up and decided to hire a few professionals...I believe the key word there is "OUTSOURCING!"  But now we're trying to manage the handful of vendors coming in and out of the house and making sure that the cost stays manageable and the work is done in time.

So not only do I dream of icing, and favors, and tulle...I do it on a pile of sawdust and covered in paint.  Oh the joys of a modern, home renovating bride!

The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm doing all of this so that I can be...wait for it, wait for it..."The Perfect Wife." 

Think about it for a second.  What is the perfect wife?  Does she exist?  What does she look like?  How does she act?  What does she do?  How twisted is the media's version of what she should be?  And the biggest question of them all - How long until I'm her?

Before you all jump at me at once, I get it.  There is no such thing as "the perfect wife."  I will never be perfect.  My life will never be like the movies (the good ones I mean).  At some point I will burn dinner, or turn the laundry pink, or go an extra day without cleaning the bathrooms.  And there MUST be a learning curve built in, right?  I'm not sure how to go from an independent, self-sufficient, makes all decisions by herself kind of girl with a Northern, fast-paced attitude to part of a joint decision making team where the other half is a man with a Southern, laid-back take on life.  All I know that is I'm sure it doesn't happen the moment we're pronounced man and wife.  That journey has all the makings of a great roller coaster ride, chalk full of twists, turns, ups, down, and lots of upside down moments.

So the big question, "Can I do it?"  Well I sure hope so...I'm that crazy overachiever, remember!  So starting today I'm tackling my "next big thing" because in less than 10 weeks my life changes forever!  Look out world cause Here Comes the Bride, the Crazy, Overachieving Bride!